Inspiration Lost

I broke up with my girl friend today
i think it is for real
i c$#@&^d on her
i guess some sins are unforgivable
i know am hurt
i wonder how she must have felt
i did love her
but know one would ever know
know why
because i wear my shoes alone and
carry my cross alone
know what
because even a fool started with the answer to the what
carry my answers alone

Its just sad

I never said but she was the inspiration for most of my posts before now

I wonder what would be from now
(she ^&% the *&(^&^%$3@@6 up)

Friends

Why fight?
Fight is not good,
fighting
what will i do?
Let them fight,
it's good,
it helps,
yet,
it doesn't

What a world?

God is good.

Answers

Who says they solve problems
Who says its what we need
Who says we know the question
who says it was a question

not confused just out of phase

God is the way...

Curious Mind

My beautiful mind
My curious mind
Beauty, is one that comes with choice
Art is one that is that is of beauty
But yet not constant
For our choice is the only constant
When I see I choose to see
The beautiful things I see with my curious mind
Ending with a soothing smile one like no other
But from the quench of the thirst of a curious mind

Foretell

I see
I see a horizon
I see an end
I see the future
I see the next
What I see
I see the when
I see the why
Even in the how I still see

Why I see I do not ponder

Deep

Deep
One thing i haven’t written
on
one reason i haven’t written
in a while
lost
lost in the abyss of thought
but not confused
lost in the abyss of time
but not busy
lost
lost in the depth

just
lost

Present but amongst
A simple blend but so deep
Thought not to be shared;
Thought not to be understood;
only by one …
…who is a companion
Like the calm seas his presence reflects;
like the turbulent winds her absence descends
all this but yet not empty
all this but yet …
so lost

deep understanding lies
deep but not wide
only few can settle in
only few can understand
deep
can be related
but must not be translated
because then
it becomes shallow
deep
feels explainable

In your shoes

You have done everything once
Why should you do anything again
You have tried everything once
Why would you have tried anything again
You didn't understand
Why would you now?
That was your reason then
that would always be there
You got it new nothing wrong
Why follow a forsaken road

Why

No good reason
except the one you had before
It wasn't enough before why would it be now

What is the difference
I am wrong I don't care
Why do I have to be right, why do I have to be the one doing right.
I feel & I will follow my new feels because the old one tastes sour.
The old one went wrong
The new one too might but it hasn't & I prefer it

Truth

Truth is a good thing
Truth is supposed to set you free
But maybe we don't want to be free
Maybe freedom doesn't mean peace of mind or shelter
Maybe it doesn't mean an easy life

The truth isn't good & a times it isn't good
So when is it good & why isn't

...20 minutes later (maybe less)
I just did it
Not speak the truth
Is the right thing to just run from this kind of life,the people or to fight on, no matter what?

My tongue feels like the people of babel &
the words feels like every other person
I speak & it is not comprehensible
I speak & the intension's are different

Why I hate Games?

There is no master just circumstances
There is no Guru just experienced participants
There is no chosen one just the next in line

I play well
I see deception, I hate deception
I know one day it will be my turn

What if,
What if I meet the next in line
what if I was out of my game, then it would be my turn
Then I would be down
Then I would be done for
Then I would be gone

When,
I wish they could stop, but I can see them
I wish the could go, but I can't move them
I feel may be after this or after that then there would be no more
I am always wrong

I don't see an end. I only see new beginnings.
Everyman has a role, a circumstance and every man goes through a handful of them.

I just wish I never go low because of where I think it is

I hope it is not blaspheming but I think the bible has accounts of the same until Jesus.
Now i think till after him
Just now I see till after him
So now I seek a way to be part of the game
To be selfless,
to be role playing.
To enjoy it, to be happy.

Even though I see it I still honestly wish it was not,
what a life.
Life & it's paradoxes
Life

What do I do?
I get close to God in always & all ways.
I don't think for myself,
I don't feed for myself,
I don't wish for myself,

That is the end I see

What a Life! What a Life!

Happy

Anger brings damage and loss

depressions brings unrest

unhappiness is un-liveliness

you are missing out of life

when you have un-liveliness

Be Happy

Stay Happy

Exams

I am writing my officially-final exams. Its been fun but very tideous. I haven't had time for anything else since I started. You know I realized something that made me feel not too great am just glad there is always a good part to life. I realized my vision for how i should do things was right all along but guess what i didn't do it. I didn't believe in myself. Am in part 5 and I feel so old and in adequate. I remember the good old days. I almost wish i was young again.

Hey thank God am a life anyways am sure there would be more to be happy about as time goes. God is good all the time.

What facebook thinks about me

Hey i think i like it!!

About Me

Emotional
Sign up for the World Series of Poker. You're like a good mystery novel, it takes time to figure you out.

Intellectual
Politics isn't just something you read about in the newspaper. You speak out regarding causes you care about and believe that each person can make a difference.

Physical
You know you should work out more but you're busy. You like taking classes such as spin or yoga since being with a group provides motivation.

WHY I WRITE

Filled
Filled to the brim
Filled
Filled with passion
Filled with fuss
Tumble & Turn with no space to breathe
Clustered up & about to break
When i write i let it all go
Empty
Like I have nothing
Like I had nothing
.....
Where is the fuss
Where is the passion
Where is the fury
The anxiety that could swamp a whole nation
That could change lives
now sealed to the tip of a pen stroke
Expression
Like the tap of life
It can be sweet & bitter
It flows, if fills
It stops, it empties
Like the color of life
It always paints its own pictures
with the stroke of a pen, it can be sealed

You have so much
after 2 words you have no more
Expressions, born from feelings, father of actions

The reason why i write
The reason why I write much
The reason why I write little
The reason why its beautiful
The reason why its incomplete

Expression
Have you ever put yours to the
mercy of the stroke of a pen

SHAME

SHAME























THOUGHT
So, what do you think
where did your mind go
it was just a game
How do you feel now!

Nothing is good or bad thinking makes it so
Shame
Feelings
So how,
Why,
What was it you thought about
Feelings
Passion, that was my reason
confused, that was your feeling
understanding, that is what is necessary
Focus, thats what your considering
Am I confused,
Out of focus!
I
am Passionate
Expressive
Mysterious
Mischievous

What a shame !!

ART

Beauty
expression
impression
love
passion

Simplicity

Simple
Single
An element showing...
Simplicity at times can be so complex and
at times one can see the complexity
in the simplicity
or rather
simplicity in the complexity of simplicity
Relativity
a word uniting both simplicity and complexity
A word destroying their sense as one & uniting
their sense as a whole
Complexity

Forgiveness

If we can forgive, Let us
If we can be good, Let us

If I hurt you, I am unforgivable
If I took your most desired, I am unforgivable

If you took yours back
If you took mine too

Then,
I am forgivable

After,
I am forgivable

Why not before
In all it is equal now or then

We have a world of choice
Choose wisely

Tired

Not interested anymore

Not bothered anymore

Nonchalant

That's how I am now

I take it 1 at a time

The one i have i don't want

I can only have 1 at a time

I only want 1 at a time

Ticking

What makes it

How does it

Why not my way

Why the difference

What can be done

What should I do

Someone asked

Then ... i asked

Really ... are we!

or is it...

This week on cnet i think this is a very important topic we all need to consider

http://reviews.cnet.com/4520-3504_7-6785301-1.html?tag=nl.e497#talkback

Mind your cell phone manners

By Kent German
October 09, 2007

Have you ever experienced a cell phone user whom you wanted to pack up and ship to Miss Manners? Or have you ever witnessed a person on a cell phone do something so completely rude that you stop in your tracks? I have, and it continues to intrigue me just how polarizing cell phones can be. Sure, almost everyone has one, but they can drive even their most loyal users crazy.

Though I write about cell phones every day, even I think it makes perfect sense that cell phones are continually cited in studies that say good manners have gone out of the window. You don't need a sociology degree to see just how handsets have changed how we relate to each other; and I'm not talking about their positive effects (though indeed there are some). Rather, I'm talking about how you can put a cell phone in an otherwise courteous person's hand and then watch how that person loses all awareness of the people around him.

Let me emphasize that I'm no luddite. I think cell phones are great and serve a very useful purpose. But just as people hide behind e-mail to avoid face-to-face communication, it's amazing how some cell phone users think a handset makes them so much more important than everyone else. Here's some extreme behavior I've seen and be sure to share your own experiences and advice, as well.

Be nice to the person behind the counter

Last week I was waiting in line to order lunch behind a man blabbing away on his phone. When he got to the counter, he handed the cafe employee a piece of paper with his order and said, "I'm on an important call." So is it just me or is that completely rude? Doesn't the person behind the lunch counter deserve just an ounce of respect? I think so. Next time Mr. Important, hang up or at least put your caller on hold.

Take it outside

I'm also in favor of taking your phone outside, or at least away from the table, when you get a call in a restaurant. No one around you, much less your tablemates, care to hear what you have to say. That is, unless your guiding someone to your table in a cavernous eatery. And if it's really important, you could always text. But even that has a limit, as well.

Use your inside voice

I'm always fascinated how people's voices (me included) automatically go up a few decibels when they get on a cell phone. I can understand when you're using your phone in a crowd, near a construction site, or next to your local airport runway, but it happens even in quiet rooms. I just don't get it.

You're welcome

Have you ever held the door for someone who's been on the phone without them acknowledging your presence? It happened to me last week. Remember folks: Even though you're on the phone you still exist in this world to other people.

Drive to distraction

I know I'll open a whole can of worms here but please, when you're driving with a phone use a headset. And whatever you do, don't text while driving. Yikes.

Yes, they're talking to you

I don't pay $10 to hear your cell phone ring during a movie so turn it off. But if you absolutely have to keep your phone on, please turn it on vibrate. And please don't start talking until after you've left the theater. It's just being polite. The same goes for weddings, funerals, and other milestone events. Every time I went to my college's graduation, they'd ask people to turn off their phones before the ceremony. And every time, someone's phone would ring and they'd slink out of the building. Remember that when they ask you to turn off your phone, they're talking to you.

Work out your body, not your mouth

I don't care how important you think you are, the gym is no place for a cell phone. Don't talk when you're doing cardio and don't take up space on equipment so you can sit and catch up the latest dish. If you're bored while you spin, read a magazine.

Not in the bathroom

Don't use your phone in a public restroom. That's just gross.

Remember the people around you

If you're out with a group of friends, it's fine to answer the phone for a few minutes. Just don't make that conversation more important than the one you're already having. Granted, I know I'm throwing stone from a glass house, but be courteous and keep it to a limit.

Bluetooth geeks

I've made no secret of the fact that I think wearing a Bluetooth headset when you're not talking on the phone just make you look like a geek. That's why I'm saying it again here.

WHOLE 'NESS'

A poem i wrote about 2 years ago during my exams. If i actually think about it, i do most of my thinking when reading for exams; trying to work on that thou. I need to concentrate more those times. What do you think?


Sept , 2005
WHOLE 'NESS'

I AM LOSING MY ORIENTATION
OF THE WORLD AS A WHOLE
OF THE WORLD AS WHOLE

I HAVE A VIEW
FEELS LIKE A WHOLE LIFE
FEELS LIKE GETTING OUT AS A WHOLE

I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHY IT REFUSES TO COME OUT AS A WHOLE

BUT I KNOW
I MIGHT LOSE THE WHOLE IDEA,
AND THE WHOLE, IDEA

IT JUST MIGHT BE
ONE THING I FINALLY GET TO DO AS A WHOLE


COURTESY
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT