Inspiration Lost

I broke up with my girl friend today
i think it is for real
i c$#@&^d on her
i guess some sins are unforgivable
i know am hurt
i wonder how she must have felt
i did love her
but know one would ever know
know why
because i wear my shoes alone and
carry my cross alone
know what
because even a fool started with the answer to the what
carry my answers alone

Its just sad

I never said but she was the inspiration for most of my posts before now

I wonder what would be from now
(she ^&% the *&(^&^%$3@@6 up)

Friends

Why fight?
Fight is not good,
fighting
what will i do?
Let them fight,
it's good,
it helps,
yet,
it doesn't

What a world?

God is good.

Answers

Who says they solve problems
Who says its what we need
Who says we know the question
who says it was a question

not confused just out of phase

God is the way...

Curious Mind

My beautiful mind
My curious mind
Beauty, is one that comes with choice
Art is one that is that is of beauty
But yet not constant
For our choice is the only constant
When I see I choose to see
The beautiful things I see with my curious mind
Ending with a soothing smile one like no other
But from the quench of the thirst of a curious mind

Foretell

I see
I see a horizon
I see an end
I see the future
I see the next
What I see
I see the when
I see the why
Even in the how I still see

Why I see I do not ponder

Deep

Deep
One thing i haven’t written
on
one reason i haven’t written
in a while
lost
lost in the abyss of thought
but not confused
lost in the abyss of time
but not busy
lost
lost in the depth

just
lost

Present but amongst
A simple blend but so deep
Thought not to be shared;
Thought not to be understood;
only by one …
…who is a companion
Like the calm seas his presence reflects;
like the turbulent winds her absence descends
all this but yet not empty
all this but yet …
so lost

deep understanding lies
deep but not wide
only few can settle in
only few can understand
deep
can be related
but must not be translated
because then
it becomes shallow
deep
feels explainable

In your shoes

You have done everything once
Why should you do anything again
You have tried everything once
Why would you have tried anything again
You didn't understand
Why would you now?
That was your reason then
that would always be there
You got it new nothing wrong
Why follow a forsaken road

Why

No good reason
except the one you had before
It wasn't enough before why would it be now

What is the difference
I am wrong I don't care
Why do I have to be right, why do I have to be the one doing right.
I feel & I will follow my new feels because the old one tastes sour.
The old one went wrong
The new one too might but it hasn't & I prefer it

Truth

Truth is a good thing
Truth is supposed to set you free
But maybe we don't want to be free
Maybe freedom doesn't mean peace of mind or shelter
Maybe it doesn't mean an easy life

The truth isn't good & a times it isn't good
So when is it good & why isn't

...20 minutes later (maybe less)
I just did it
Not speak the truth
Is the right thing to just run from this kind of life,the people or to fight on, no matter what?

My tongue feels like the people of babel &
the words feels like every other person
I speak & it is not comprehensible
I speak & the intension's are different

Why I hate Games?

There is no master just circumstances
There is no Guru just experienced participants
There is no chosen one just the next in line

I play well
I see deception, I hate deception
I know one day it will be my turn

What if,
What if I meet the next in line
what if I was out of my game, then it would be my turn
Then I would be down
Then I would be done for
Then I would be gone

When,
I wish they could stop, but I can see them
I wish the could go, but I can't move them
I feel may be after this or after that then there would be no more
I am always wrong

I don't see an end. I only see new beginnings.
Everyman has a role, a circumstance and every man goes through a handful of them.

I just wish I never go low because of where I think it is

I hope it is not blaspheming but I think the bible has accounts of the same until Jesus.
Now i think till after him
Just now I see till after him
So now I seek a way to be part of the game
To be selfless,
to be role playing.
To enjoy it, to be happy.

Even though I see it I still honestly wish it was not,
what a life.
Life & it's paradoxes
Life

What do I do?
I get close to God in always & all ways.
I don't think for myself,
I don't feed for myself,
I don't wish for myself,

That is the end I see

What a Life! What a Life!

Happy

Anger brings damage and loss

depressions brings unrest

unhappiness is un-liveliness

you are missing out of life

when you have un-liveliness

Be Happy

Stay Happy